2 more days ...

I just finished my last hardcore workout for awhile, I imagine. I was actually growing quite fond of my workout routine. I'd lift 4 days per week, and then do 20-30 minutes of hard sweating-buckets cardio afterwards- which usually consisted of the stair stepper or ARC machine. I also did about 4 25-minute sessions of fasted biking each morning, too. I have grown so much appreciation for hose workouts where you feel like you earned your shower. I got those with running too, obviously, but these felt just as great. 

My surgery is in 2 days. Actually, in exactly 48 from this moment, I will already be out of surgery and quite possibly on my way back home to my girls. One thing that I'm actually having a really difficult time with is not being able to really "care" for my girls for a bit. My husband will have to do mostly everything for at least the first few weeks. They can pretty much just lay in bed with me, and that's it. That realization is really hard on me. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears daily bc of it. Not to mention, my big girl is starting kindergarten in the fall, and it feel like I'd be missing out on the last few months we have her at home all day. I was actually thinking of pulling out all of their Disney movies, and we can watch movies together everyday. 

I feel like, lately, every time I do something- even like putting on makeup while standing at the counter, I'm like "Probably won't be able to stand up to do it for awhile!" I'm not taking a thing for granted beforehand. It's really hard bc I'm not in awful pain day in and day out- more like a nagging burning pain that if I HAD TO I could deal with it (but if you read my last post, I explained why I chose not to deal with it everyday and get a surgery instead). But in just 48 hours (or less), I will have that awful pain, most likely all day long, too! For weeks, or months! And this is the part where I go whhhhhyyyyyyy am I doing this? Should I just not show up to my surgery??

Anyways, we are down to the wire and I'm doing my best to get everything ready. For myself, the kids, the dogs, the house, and whatever I can do to make it easier on my husband. Not to mention, I just got a pedicure and eyebrow wax, so that I won't have to do those for awhile either. :) As luck would have it, we were invited to a freezer-cooking party, so that'll be some of our frozen meals so I won't have to cook, or eat my husbands Mac-n-cheese every night. :) Oh! And we got my handicap parking pass too.

Next time I post, I'll have had my surgery. Oy vey ...